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What is forgiveness? The Biblical word literally means to leave or let go. It is as if we are holding on to an offense from the past and still expecting some retribution. Either we feel there is some penance that we must do in order to make it right or there is something that someone else ‘owes’ us. Either way, the offense is unresolved and we are in bondage to it. In fact, we are not only in bondage to the offense itself and all of its pain, we are also in bondage to the emotions attached to the offense (anger, humiliation, fear) and any lies that are attached to the offense (I am such a loser, I am so inadequate, I am so stupid). Forgiveness releases us from that bondage by choosing to receive the full resolution of the offense at the cross of Jesus.
Jesus taught on forgiveness by telling a parable in Matthew 18:21-35. In the story, a king looked through his books and noticed a very large unpaid debt. He approached the man who owed the money and, finding that he did not have the money to pay, ordered him to debtor’s prison until the debt was satisfied. The man begged for mercy and the king decided to totally release him from the debt. He didn’t have to pay it later. He didn’t have to justify why it wasn’t paid. He didn’t have to pay a portion of it. He didn’t have to perform any particular service in return. He wasn’t put on a payment plan. The king totally released him from the debt. This is forgiveness. The debtor did not deserve forgiveness of the debt and he could not earn forgiveness of the debt. Forgiveness has its source in the one doing the forgiving and is not dependent on the one needing forgiveness. Forgiveness is a grace offered that can only be received. Scripture tells us that when the sinless Son of God went to the cross, He took all of our sin and "cancelled out the certificate of debt" that was against us (can you say "Paid in Full!). Scripture also tells us that He removes our sin "as far as the east is from the west" and that he will "remember our sins no more." It is clear that when God forgives us, he releases it… completely. Let’s just pause here a moment and let that sink in. We are released from every bad thing we have ever thought or done. He doesn’t hold any of it against us. He does not expect any retribution. He does not expect us to do any penance. He does not let our past sin disqualify us from relationship or service to Him. We are forgiven, the debt is paid in full (feel free to have a private praise session here!). Sure, you may respond, that is easy for Him to do… He’s God, but I am not a forgiving person. The truth is that if you have received Jesus by grace, you have received His Spirit which is a forgiving spirit. You may not have been a forgiving person in the past… you may even have a history of holding grudges…but now you are a forgiving person! For this reason, God can boldly command us to "forgive each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." The forgiveness that we extend to others is EXACTLY the same as the forgiveness that we get from God. We can forgive in this way because Christ lives in us. Forgiveness must begin with receiving. The verse quoted above from Ephesians 4 reveals that the forgiveness we extend to others has a precedent in the forgiveness we have received. If we choose not to receive God’s complete forgiveness for our past, we maintain a sense of shame and guilt that cripples our ability to grow in our relationship with Him. We feel guilt for what we have done and we feel shame for who we are (we will deal with shame more in chapter 9). The combination of these feelings lead us further from the true self and, since we can’t seem to rid ourselves of this guilt and shame, it motivates us to cover them up, thus leading us to live out of a false self. Not only that but living with guilt and shame over our past sins causes us to strive to be acceptable to God. We are drawn to legalistic religious systems that have no power to change us from the inside out. Our striving doesn’t free us but leads us to more sin through indulging. Living in the power of the true self requires us to be completely freed from our own offenses (sins) and the offenses of others (wounds). If our desire is to choose life, forgiveness is not an option!
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