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Understanding What Drives Addiction |
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Written by Bob Perdue
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Many experts teach that addiction begins with attachment. The person attaches themselves to some substance, activity, person or feeling and, because of repetition, can’t break the attachment. My own struggle with addiction and my counsel of hundreds of others who struggle has taught me that there is something deeper than attachment that drives addiction, need. There is an inner craving that is not satisfied by the current lifestyle we are living. Some pain, negative feeling, difficult situation or relationship causes us to seek balance in something pleasurable, something that feels good. This need to balance life is what drives us to the attachment.
The object of our attachment is actually not the point at all; it is the need driving our attachment that is the key to overcoming the addiction. We can attach to alcohol, drugs, shopping, success, a spouse, a child, pornography, sex, exercise, food, etc.; the power of the addiction is related to the depth of the need not the object. I have witnessed many people who are able to let go of a particular attachment but, since the need is not addressed at a deeper level, they simply move on to another attachment.
Overcoming addiction, then, hinges upon our ability to understand this deeper need and find fulfillment. In order to understand this deeper need, we should ask ourselves the question, “What am I looking for?” or “What is it I am trying to get out of this addiction?” Among the answer I have heard to that question are, “I just want to be happy,” or “I just want to enjoy life” or “I just want to be at peace.” Happiness … enjoyment … peace. The addictive pattern does bring all three of those… temporarily. The problem is that the consequences of the addiction destroy happiness, enjoyment and peace! The addiction provides an inadequate source for these three desires.
At a deeper level than happiness, enjoyment and peace, we desire life. Not just existence, but life to the fullest. The message of Christianity is that Jesus Christ came into the world to rid the world of sin (John 1:29) and to give us life to the fullest (John 10:10). Unfortunately, the church has focused on eternal life in heaven instead of on the possibility of experiencing life to the fullest, now. I believe, and have experienced, the power of Christ to break my addictive pattern and allow me to experience life to the fullest. |
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Overcoming the Stress of Guilt and Shame |
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Written by Bob Perdue
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Guilt and shame are two of the greatest obstacles to the experience of life to the fullest. In the Bible, the book of Psalms records these words from King David, “When I kept silent my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity…” Psalm 32: 3, 5a This verse was written at a time after David had committed adultery and murder. It wasn’t the actual sins that plagued him, it was the cover-up. David found that life was painful and a struggle when he kept things hidden and tried to pretend that nothing was wrong. He even alludes to the fact that it affected him physically. Many psychosomatic illnesses can be traced to suppressed feelings of guilt and shame over wrongs. Ulcers, heart disease, high blood pressure, even cancer have been linked to this kind of stress.
How can we get past this kind of guilt and shame? As with any recovery program, including the well-known 12 step program of Alcoholics Anonymous, the first step is to admit that you have a problem, to choose honesty. It is more than just acknowledging that you have problems in a general way. It is about owning the specific wrongs, hurts and wounds that are affecting your life. These things are holding you in bondage. This concept is Biblical and is actually a major tenet of Christianity. The Bible says, “If we confess our sin, God is faithful and just and will forgive us for our sins and will cleanse us from all impurities” (I John 1:9). This forgiveness and cleansing is the only way to be totally released from guilt and shame. If we go back to the example of King David, later, after he confessed his sin he declares, “…and you forgave the guilt of my sin” (Ps 32: 5). |
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